The 14.5 Percent Tip
Dinner was lovely, and he made you laugh and, as promised, the chicken mole was nothing short of revelatory. But then, as you noticed and tried not to notice you were noticing, he was snippy to the waitstaff and left an underwhelming tip. Yes, you can spin this into a playful little debate about whether tips ought to be performance-based, and maybe it will be amusing in a Seinfeld-y way. Still. Think it through. He might have made charming conversation and looked meaningfully into your eyes, but if this relationship progresses, sister, someday you’re going to be the one bringing him a plate of spaghetti and getting the stink eye.